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The totality/brutality of pain

June 28, 2017

Some people describe
Pain like knives
Like stabbing
But for me that’s too
External, too
Removed

To me, it feels like my body
In active uprising
Burning the settlements of my
Carcass, and feasting on my
Discomfort. It’s all me.
But separate, but internal,
But something I cannot see
Or push away

Everyday I’m in a war
With the parts of myself
That have been under such
Stress, they can’t function
Some days, I wonder if my mind
And my back are in
Cahoots, because somehow
It’s more acceptable for
The body to give way
Than the mind. We expect it
Our biggest fear, what we feel
And see in ourselves and others
Decay, waste, limbs less
Powerful, muscles less strong.
But my mind is a muscle
And sometimes it’s knackered
Beyond belief
Beyond comfort.

So maybe my body isn’t in full
Revolt. Maybe it’s trying to show
Me what I need.
To give in, to breathe, to start slow
And go gently.IMG_20170624_202029.jpg

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