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Metal Squid – for Magpie Tales

August 14, 2010
tags:

Metal Squid
(for Magpie Tales)

Iron eye
looking from amongst the rust
and turquoise rub
the wash of countless rainfall
forming a metal time line

followed by the eye
as it travels the pipes length
searching for the fixed point
on which to rest its captured gaze.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. August 14, 2010 15:01

    Very intriguing, a literal take. My favorite line, “turquoise rub”.

  2. August 14, 2010 16:23

    ‘Iron eye
    looking from amongst the rust
    and turquoise rub’

    I like that image. Now all I can see is the eye. lol

    Great way of looking at it.

  3. August 14, 2010 17:08

    nice magpie…my favorite line was…forming a metal time line…this sounds cool!

    • August 15, 2010 05:14

      I always like a good time line, so why not have one made of metal, the way the rings of a tree are made šŸ˜€

  4. Helen permalink
    August 14, 2010 17:41

    With a focus on the ‘eye’ you have written a wonderful Magpie.

  5. August 14, 2010 19:50

    Your poem’s creative and fresh.

  6. August 14, 2010 23:55

    Powerful words so very well written my friend xxx

  7. August 15, 2010 02:35

    Beautiful piece of writing. You know what I like best? The fabulous title!

  8. August 15, 2010 04:23

    I love the idea of the pipe as a metal time line. Very nicely done. My Magpie Tale is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/08/14/the-way-out/

  9. August 15, 2010 15:41

    unique. i like the idea of the pipe having an eye, a captured gaze. cool. some really beautiful lines, i especially liked the first stanza. awesome magpie, this was a good read.

  10. August 16, 2010 14:17

    some great word play in this one…great take on the prompt…it brings life to it…

  11. August 16, 2010 23:00

    A time line – oh, yes. Love the turquoise rub. Very vivid.

  12. August 17, 2010 16:27

    wonderful way of looking at it. šŸ™‚

  13. August 17, 2010 18:07

    Hey cheers everyone – I was worried when I started writing that no one would understand it or see the squid I saw! Glad that everyone enjoyed my take on it šŸ™‚

  14. August 18, 2010 07:24

    Now that was a very “fresh” take on the prompt, although fresh is kinda the exact opposite of what one would wanna associate this rusty pipe.. šŸ™‚

    An awesome play words!! Loved this tale, and the way it follow thru’ till that joint! Too good!

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